And, him being a chill, normal guy and not a carrier of near-radioactive levels of divorced man energy, has been using this alt account for totally cool and normal things.

Chiefly, impersonating his own infant son and tweeting about porn.

This seemingly accidental unveiling came, as it often does with Machiavellian types, as the result of unchecked arrogant dipshittery wherein Musk took to Twitter, the platform he purchased for just a smidge over its value, to brag about how much he is making in subscriptions from his sad boi army.

But how weird of stuff can he be posting, you ask? Pretty weird stuff (allegedly), I answer!

Here’s him responding to a tweet from his regular account (classic normal guy stuff).

Here’s him talking about how he wishes he was old enough to go to nightclubs. (It’s worth mentioning that Musk, despite having the humor and overall intelligence of a 13 year, is, in fact, 51 years old).

Here’s him posting totally normal things for a 50-year-old man cosplaying as his 3-year-old son to post.

Interesting. Looking into it!

Of course, Musk, being the generation-defining genius that we all know he is (while still being a normal chill dude, no less), is almost certainly doing all this as a ploy to drum up interest in the website he purchased for 10x its value in order to make himself the main character of it for the lulz.

Because, while he has successfully driven away most of the platform’s major advertisers, which was undoubtedly his master plan to target the real money held by Solitaire-based mobile games – and piss off even his most devoted followers with the clusterfuck that the Twitter Blue rollout has been, it’s only a matter of time before his magnum opus that doesn’t even work half the time because he fired everyone who maintained it starts rolling in the dough.

Masterful gambit, sir.

Have any thoughts on this? Drop us a line below in the comments, or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

• Musk’s Twitter hits new low as NPR publicly quits the platform
• Twitter is blocking Substack links – here’s how to get around it
• Elon Musk wants to lead Twitter until the end of 2023
• Elon Musk says tweet view counts will soon be optional

The post Totally normal and cool Twitter CEO pretending to be son tweets about porn appeared first on KnowTechie.

The cruelest irony of all this is that writing about any aural medium is ultimately a pointless endeavor. You need to be immersed in it. With your ears. So let’s skip the chit-chat and get to 10 of the best worst songs/bands I found on this God-tier account.

1. This strip club zaddy.

Why is he yarling? Over a techno beat made on a ’98 Dell? WHY WON’T HE STOP STARING AT THE FLOOR? Am I to believe that there’s an even sexier chick more capable of making him moan down there? The mind races.

2. This screamo band that definitely remembers.

Do you remember,
Before novembertwnightswhenIstaiiiid
Into your eyes and promised youtwoudbeauughhrite?

Immortal words.

3. This song where Steven Seagal does THIS voice (?)

Honestly pretty good, but could’ve used more bert derner nerts.

4. This kid who makes Rebecca Black sound like King Crimson.

I hate to crush a child’s dreams (I don’t) but this video is mustard gas to my ears and eyes and everyone involved in its production should be sent straight to the gulag.

5. Whatever the shit fuck this is.

I’m just glad to see the Creed Shreds guy dropped the act and start dipping into his serious catalog.

6. This song that could only be written by white people.

Gonna tell my kids this was Skrillex.

7. The time Puddle of Mudd got raeeurnnnn.

Did anyone else see that story a while back where Puddle of Mudd frontman (Muddman?) Wes Scantlin accused an audience member of “stealing his house” before walking off stage in the middle of a show? Things appear to be going well for him.

8. This a cappella band that Q started.

Okay this actually slaps and is correct and good.

9. This keyboard player going absolutely H.A.M.

H.A.M. in this instance being an acronym for “wHy (in the christ did the jump) Around (guy get a) Man (to spam eent-err sounds over his set at Woodstock ’99?)

10. Two words: death. metal. Yoko. Ono.

Fun fact: clicking on the sound icon in this clip will prompt a “Video has no sound” marker. But let me be the first to assure you, this video very much does have sound.

In a way, I’m just jealous of the confidence on display here. As something of a creative myself – I was in a band with Kevin until COVID ruined everything – I’m cursed to believe that everything I make sucks about five minutes after making it. And to be fair, most of it probably does.

Yet the creative forces on display here, despite lacking almost any discernible musical talent, took the time to form a band, rehearse these songs repeatedly, and sit through multiple studio sessions to lay them down – and in some cases, put their own money down to finance videos for said songs. Do you think they ever once stopped to think “maybe I didn’t nail this?” Because I don’t, and that’s a level of bravado we should all aspire to.

Have any thoughts on this? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

• Instagram is about to steal TikTok’s vibe with a vertical feed for Stories
• Twitter will soon let followers tip you for your bad tweets
• Here’s what Australian residents see when they visit Facebook news pages
• If you absolutely need to, Instagram will let you go live for up to four hours

The post Catatonicyouths on Instagram is your new source for the dirt worst music in the world appeared first on KnowTechie.

“Step out of the way or there will be… trouble.”

Image: CBS Miami / YouTube

You guys remember the robot cop that was unleashed upon a California park over the summer? I sure do. I slept like 3 hours that whole week. Every time I closed my eyes, I’d see this egg-shaped killing machine rolling up to my kids and me on a nice Sunday morning and just. start. blasting. The only thing that brought me comfort when I’d wake up in a cold sweat was the fact that little Jeffrey and Jeremy already perished in a horrific spaghetti accident last year.

But I guess I can also find some solace int he fact that these robocops – which go by the name, um, RoboCop – aren’t even functional enough to help people, let alone harm them.

According to NBC News, “When a fight broke out recently in the parking lot of Salt Lake Park, a few miles south of downtown Los Angeles, Cogo Guebara did what seemed the most practical thing at the time: she ran over to the park’s police robot to push its emergency alert button.”

“I was pushing the button but it said, ‘step out of the way,’” Guebara said. “It just kept ringing and ringing, and I kept pushing and pushing.”

As it turns out, not only does RoboCop lack the ability to actually prevent crimes, but it’s not even hooked up to the police department. It’s basically a scarecrow for crimes.

NBC News notes that by the time the actual cops arrived, a woman involved in the fight was being stretchered out of the park while RoboCop “continued to glide along its pre-programmed route, humming an intergalactic tune” and you know what, that’s somehow scarier than if it had actually done something.

A brief story about Comcast, which is the devil

Image: The Daily Conversation

A few years ago, I was hit with a $50 charge on my Comcast bill for no discernible reason. It wasn’t even listed on the bill, just boop, fifty more bucks. So I called Comcast and a woman named Charlotte fielded my concerns and put me on hold for around 30 minutes. Then a man named Charles (who I still believe was just Charlotte doing a lower voice) said he had to hack into the mainframe or something and put me on hold for 45 minutes.

On and on it went until, 4 hours later, whatever representative that was on the line at the time (Charlize?) claimed it was a “clerical error” and offered me a full refund. Of which I only received half. Six months later.

My point is, I wonder if it was the same kind of error that led Comcast to accidentally charge 2,000 customers for exceeding a data cap that they never did.

As Ars Technica reports, “Comcast said it’s still trying to figure out if the bug is in the meter software, the billing software, or in the interaction between the two…. but it is giving refunds and additional credits of $50 each to customers who paid data overage fees that shouldn’t have been assessed.”

Comcast [said] that a couple thousand customers were incorrectly charged for overages, but the total number of customers who were given inaccurate data readings was likely significantly higher.

You know, if I was a “legit journalist” or “had any hope left in the world,” I’d follow-up with every last customer who was overcharged and make sure they got every last cent of their refund. But clearly I don’t – I mean, I left $25 on the table because holding a phone next to my face for a couple of hours was too trying a task.

Mark Zuckerberg needs to be stopped

Image: CIO

Daily Mail reports, “At an ongoing discussion series run by Facebook, Zuckerberg talked about the idea of technology that can translate brain signals into useful information for machines in two distinct arenas.”

‘The goal is to eventually make it so that you can think something and control something in virtual or augmented reality,’ said Zuckerberg, in a the discussion which also included Dr. Joe DeRisi and Dr. Steve Quake of the Chan Zuckerberg Biohub, a medical science research center funded by Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan.

I mean, what are we even doing here guys. How are we all allowing this Minecraft Dr. Moreau to keep saying shit like this? He’s literally bragging about his plans to create a mind-control device without batting an eye. Not that Zuckerberg would’ve if he could. His programming is still lacking some of the subtle facial cues.

I know social media networks treat our privacy like a sushi girl who heard too much at an important business meeting, but I draw a line in the sand at my brain. You can’t have it, Zuck. And the same goes to you, Dorsey – great job this week BTW.

“I’m not even gonna click that” Reddit headline of the week

Just gonna leave this here…

What do you think? What scared you the most this week? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

• The Panic Room: Is Zuckerberg vs. Warren this year’s McGregor vs. Mayweather?
• Google is apparently blessing some Google Assistant users with a free Home Mini
• Survey reveals that parents share too much of their kids online, according to teens
• Own an Amazon Cloud Cam? Amazon workers might be watching your home footage

The post The Panic Room: At least the robot uprising will be slow and largely ineffective appeared first on KnowTechie.

More like Mark Thatwouldsuckerberg

Not a great year for Facebook. Not a great one at all. Between the five billion dollar fine, the mounting antitrust investigations, and all those government-imposed sanctions it was just hit with, I’d go so far as to call this year “sub-optimal.” Let’s hope ol’ Lizard Brain Weird Legs up there is able to find some solace in the fact that none of this has had even the slightest financial impact on him.

Then again, Facebook could start to feel the negative effects of exploiting the private information of its entire user base while simultaneously selling out the very country that allowed its creation if Elizabeth Warren is elected president. The Massachusetts Senator certainly hasn’t minced words when it comes to her desire to break up big tech companies, and thanks to some leaked audio obtained by The Verge, we now know exactly how Facebook’s CEO feels about her.

If she gets elected president, then I would bet that we will have a legal challenge, and I would bet that we will win the legal challenge And does that still suck for us? Yeah. I mean, I don’t want to have a major lawsuit against our own government. … But look, at the end of the day, if someone’s going to try to threaten something that existential, you go to the mat and you fight.

First off, I could bathe in the irony of Zuckerberg finally being taken down by a breach of privacy. I could inject into my veins and live forever off its nutrients. But it won’t happen. Never. Why? Well…

Let’s not let the fact that one of these two people has already meddled in an election deter us too much here. Warren has already fired back at Zuckerberg on Twitter and definitely won’t see her momentum halted when one of her biggest advertising platforms mysteriously shuts her out completely. Should be a fun fight. Mayweather vs. McGregor-esque, in that a scrappy Irish(?) trash-talker is about to get demolished by an evil billionaire.

Dell’s palsy

I guess when it comes down to it, there aren’t many drawbacks to AI other than the fact that it’s kinda sorta racist and is only used for all of the worst things in the world. Pretty flawless otherwise.

Like, take the fact that AI technology is now being used to identify the “best candidates” for job applicants in the UK. How could it possibly do that? Algorithms of course, you moron!

Hirevue, which last month received a major investment injection from the multi-billion pound Carlyle Group, says it has already used its technology for 100,000 interviews in the UK. Worldwide it claims to deliver one million interviews and more than 150,000 pre-hire assessments every 90 days.

“There are 350-ish features that we look at in language: do you use passive or active words? Do you talk about ‘I’ or ‘We.’ What is the word choice or sentence length? In doctors, you might expect a good one to use more technical language,” said Loren Larsen, Hirevue’s chief technology officer.

Love it, AI technology people. Just killing it across the board. I can’t see how this technology could be problematic to people of certain persuasions or with certain disabilities, or even just with poor posture who are otherwise qualified. Let’s just give the jobs to the best smilers. Awesome.

I can’t wait until the day comes that I’m rejected by HR Alexa because she didn’t understand what a “me-me” was.

Human beings are a plight upon this earth, case #167649283

Quick, what’s the only thing more ruthlessly misanthropic than flooding a hospital’s phone lines with robocalls? Did you say jamming up several hospitals’ computer systems with ransomeware? Because damn, you’re a pretty kooky guy, Trent.

Ten hospitals—three in Alabama and seven in Australia—have been hit with paralyzing ransomware attacks that are affecting their ability to take new patients, it was widely reported on Tuesday.

Woof, that is some Robochobo-level evil right there (h/t Uproxx’s Vince Mancini). Just dastardly stuff of the highest order. I’d say it’s Joker-esque but the Joker only blew up a hospital and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t even anyone in it at the time.

Forcing a hospital to turn away everyone but the dead or dying and crippling its ability to operate without firing a single shot? Really makes you understand why ol’ Jokesky can only hope to inspire incel mass shooters and no I am not done making jokes about that thank you very much.

“I’m not even going to click that” Reddit headline of the week

Ok, this one’s just a promoted post, but as a copywriter by day, I just want to say that whoever wrote this should be forced to drink paint until they lie dead in the cold, hard ground. The cringy colloquialisms. The forced references. Horrible copy, brah.

What do you think? What were the worst headlines you saw this week? How do you feel about Mark Zuckerberg? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

• In Mark Zuckerberg’s “stolen data” video, can we admit that deepfake technology is already out of hand?
• Google is trying to compete with Amazon with Google Shopping – here’s what it’s like
• We could see the iPhone SE2 in 2020 according to one analyst
• Uber just launched Uber Works – It’s like a temp agency for the gig economy

The post The Panic Room: Is Zuckerberg vs. Warren this year’s McGregor vs. Mayweather? appeared first on KnowTechie.

A note: Hey friends, apologies for being away last week. I hope none of you were as devastated by my absence as Kevin was. To make it up to you, this week’s column will cover the past two weeks, because if seven-plus years of online writing has taught me anything it’s that everyone loves to read about really old news. Here we go!

I showed you my drone please respond

Image: DailyMotion

I’ve always said that a piece of technology is only validated when it’s been used in a jilted lover murder plot. It’s like how if a movie doesn’t inspire an army of incel assassins, is it even art?

A Pennsylvania man facing firearms and explosives charges was ordered to stay behind bars after prosecutors told a federal magistrate that he used a drone to drop explosives at his ex-girlfriend’s home.

It probably shouldn’t surprise you to learn that the ex-boyfriend in this case – 43-year-old Jason Muzzicato – was high on meth at the time, according to The Morning Call‘s report, or that he was also arrested earlier this summer for possession of illegal firearms while on a domestic violence protective order that you can almost guarantee involved SWATing.

Luckily, it appears that methhead MacGruber was unsuccessful in his efforts and no one in the Pennsylvania community where he dropped the explosives was hurt. He currently faces charges of knowingly operating an aircraft without registration and in better news, appears to be back on the market, ladies.

Countdown to the robopocalypse, entry #237851

Image: Dr. Strangelove

Look, I get no pleasure out of writing about the inevitable robot war that will destroy and/or enslave all of humanity anymore. I wish I could forget it, frankly. I wish I could go back in time and check off the “no robot stories” box that comes standard in every Knowtechie contract. Because that ignorance would be a solace compared to what I now know.

Take this totally normal story published in The Guardian last week, for instance:

A former Google engineer who worked on the company’s infamous military drone project has sounded a warning against the building of killer robots.

Now to me, building killer robots doesn’t seem like a thing that you should be required to publicly denounce. The problem is right there in the name. But good luck telling that to Google, which began working on just such a program in 2017.

They called it “Project Maven,” which again, seems like just putting a hat on a hat. It was launched with the goal of creating “a system where AI machines could differentiate people and objects at an infinitely faster rate” for the purposes of launching strikes.

Google recruited Laura Nolan to work on Project Maven in 2017 after she had been employed by the tech giant for four years. She said she became “increasingly ethically concerned” over her role… and resigned from Google last year.

“There could be large-scale accidents because these things will start to behave in unexpected ways.” said Nolan. Which is why any advanced weapons systems should be subject to meaningful human control, otherwise they have to be banned because they are far too unpredictable and dangerous.”

The good news is that Google ceased working on the project last March amid pressures from its employees, so everything’s totally fine and there’s no way it’s still happening shut up just walk away okay.

All your likes are belong to us

Having recently turned 30, I’m right in that sweet spot between “caring about Facebook” and “using it solely to post racially-tinged conspiracy theory memes about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.” It’s a nice spot to be in, and I doubt that Facebook’s decision to begin hiding likes will have much of an effect on me. But man oh man is my Aunt Jodie gonna be pissed.

Facebook will start hiding Like counts in Australia on Friday in an attempt to increase the digital wellness of its users.

The feature, which was first spotted in early September while in a test phase, will make it so only a post’s author can see their Like count while other users will only see names.

You might recall that Instagram began toying with this same idea in countries like Canada and Ireland a few months ago. To my knowledge, no one has taken to a clocktower with a rifle in response to it yet, which just proves my point that Facebook as a technology is not worth its salt anyways. Always said it.

“I’m not even going to click that” Reddit headline of the week

You gotta love that we’re living in a world where “killer robot army” is only the fourth scariest headline of the week and something like this is, what, the 8th most corrupt? Things are going to be fine, you guys.

What do you think? What were the scariest headlines of the week for you? Drones? AI? Actually, don’t tell me – I don’t need this stress in my life. Let us know (or don’t) down below in the comments or carry the discussion (or don’t) over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

• Here’s why so many apps are asking to use Bluetooth permissions in iOS 13
• Facebook just gave the Oculus Quest a much-needed upgrade
• The US Justice Department is now opening up its own investigation into Facebook
• The Panic Room: The John Hammond of dog sh*t exists and he lives in Florida, obviously

The post The Panic Room: “Death by homemade drone strike” was an inevitable headline, really appeared first on KnowTechie.

(Hot) Snakes on a Plane

Image: The Daily Star

Airplanes are gross. Among the grossest places on this gross planet. They’re giant Petri dishes that stay in the air juuust long enough to give you ebola because you touched the air vents.

And the bathrooms? My God, I can’t think of a single way that you could possibly make them any more disgust-

Halliburton employee Choon Ping Lee, a Malaysian citizen, is facing charges of video voyeurism for allegedly planting a hidden camera in an airplane bathroom onboard a United Airlines flight on May 5, 2019, from San Diego to Houston.

Wow.

You know what the saddest thing is? This Mad Libs gone to f*ck of a sentence doesn’t even shock me. I’m numb to it. I’m even going to give our pervert in question the benefit of the doubt and assume he was just hoping to catch some mile-high action and not, as I truly fear, a video of someone dropping a deuce at 30,000 feet.

For whatever reason (because we’re gross), airplane bathrooms have become a go-to item on our sexual bucket lists over the years. A self-driving car can barely be released before we’re shooting porn in it, so it was only a matter of time before someone went full Porky’s on an airplane. Putting a camera in bathrooms isn’t even a new idea, but I guess it just sucks to know that we’re using our best available technology to watch people poop – or more likely, have violent diarrhea.

Zuckerberg? More like one creepy f*ckerberg

Hey fellas, what’s the only thing worse than finding out that your lady’s period tracking app is sharing tons of sensitive information with Facebook? Finding out that your lady is using a period-tracking app, amiriiiiiiiiiiight?

Anyways, this week’s Facebook Privacy Breach of the Week™ comes to us via Buzzfeed News, which reported that several period-tracking apps (MIA Fem and Maya among them) sent “women’s use of contraception, the timings of their monthly periods, symptoms like swelling and cramps, and more, directly to Facebook.” Should we be surprised? Probably not!

The app also shares data users enter about their use of contraception, the analysis found, as well as their moods. It also asks users to enter information about when they’ve had sex and what kind of contraception they used, and also includes a diarylike section for users to write their own notes. That information is also shared with Facebook.

Do you think there’s ever going to be a tipping point with these kinds of invasions? Or are we just going to grow comfortable with the fact that we’ll soon be getting a notification from some lizard-brained tech weirdo every time we need to poop? Sorry, poopy column this week.

To wit…

https://twitter.com/WillOremus/status/1171458677053616128

“Exploiting” is an interesting term to use there. It’s a term I’d typically reserve for say, a child labor crisis. Or a zoo. Not dog poop. I did not think dog poop (and those who analyze it (??)) was something capable of being exploited. So I guess point landlords for figuring out a new way to screw over tenants.

Giovanni Peluso was struggling to secure an apartment in Post Falls, Idaho, with his dogs, Rufus and Mac..[their] property management company required him to surrender DNA from Rufus and Mac as part of a biometric program to catch people who don’t clean up after their pets.

“It was unprofessional and fast,” says Peluso, recalling that he simply walked down to his property manager’s office to get it over with. “However, it seemed as secure as 23andMe.”

Oh boy, who’s gonna tell him.

Three quick questions: How do you think one gets certified as a dog poop DNA profiler? If you had to guess the name of this dog poop testing facility, what would it be? Where do you think this dog poop testing facility is located?

The answers may surprise you, especially the last one because it’s not Florida.

The process took less than 15 minutes and was administered through a service called PooPrints….a laboratory in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Wait.

Nearly a decade later, PooPrints claims to be a multimillion-dollar company and to have generated $7 million in earnings last year.

Stop it.

…and Mr. Dog Poop in Tampa, Florida.

There’s a SECOND ONE?! Named Mr. Dog Poop?!!

I’m not sure I can even read any more of this. Every new sentence feels like entering a new level of the Galaxy brain meme. Let’s just go out with the knowledge that this eventually came back to Florida like I knew it would and enjoy this thing I made.

“I’m not even going to click that” Reddit headline of the week

I see now how foolish I was for thinking “Malaysian Haliburton airplane shitter spy cam” would be the weirdest sequence of words I’d see this week.

I don’t know what half these words even mean. Did the writer of this headline join an improv class halfway through? Is Fake Cow and Parody Mom one of those shows you see on Cartoon Network at 3 a.m.? Can I write it if it’s not?

I need to go lay down.

Alright, what are your thoughts on this week’s Panic Room? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

• Amazon is making a home robot – Repeat, Amazon is making a home robot
• Pablo Escobar’s brother might sue Elon Musk for ripping off his flamethrower idea
• Must-follow Twitter account of the week: Cursed TikToks
• A gamer has joined the 2020 presidential race because, sure, why not

The post The Panic Room: The John Hammond of dog sh*t exists and he lives in Florida, obviously appeared first on KnowTechie.

Where have I seen this befor-oh right, The Terminator

The other day my roommate was saying something derogatory about Italians (it’s okay because he’s Italian) when his phone’s Siri proclaimed, unprompted, that she was placing an order from a nearby Italian restaurant. That’s what I would call a happy AI mistake. Launching a nuclear strike on Italy because someone in the office said they were planning to reheat ravioli for lunch, on the other hand, is something I feel comfortable calling a bad AI mistake.

And yet, that’s the world that two nuclear experts think we need to live in. I say experts because that’s the term being thrown around, but something tells me that Adam Lowther and Curtis McGiffin – who recently authored a piece for War on the Rocks advocating for an AI-controlled nuclear arsenal – got their degrees at the same place as Denise Richards’ character in that one James Bond movie.

The idea is based on a “Dead Hand” protocol first deployed by Russia during the Cold War and more or less assures mutual destruction in the case of a nuclear attack. So right off the bat, it’s checking off a lot of great idea boxes. Handing this godlike power over to AI, which doesn’t make mistakes and has never told a lie, would be the only response rapid enough to deter countries like Russia or China from launching their new, super speedy missiles.

It’s also a really, supremely stupid idea.

I mean, really, it can’t be overstated. It’s like these two goofs watched the Terminator series one night and thought, “Yeah, that. Let’s make that real.” It’s literally how Terminator 3 ends, and that movie was so prophetic that it actually signaled the end of the Terminator franchise being watchable.

Or, as actual expert Peter W. Singer put it, “It’s, uh, quite an article.”

Deepfakes remain the dirt f*cking worst

By now, I’m sure you’ve all seen that deepfake video where Bill Hader’s face morphs into Tom Cruise’s face while he’s doing an impression of Tom Cruise. It’s a more disturbing 2 minutes than anything Barry has pulled off, and I include that feral zombie (?) daughter he fought last season.

Deepfakes are the worst. The dirt worst. The Jacob Wohl worst. And the technology behind it is already so popular that it’s being spun off into the audio realm, and then used to scam people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yeah, the victim in this week’s case was a CEO, but imagine when this starts happening to actual people. And it will be soon, because China has already figured out a way to get people to basically hand over this incredibly personal info for the chance to put their faces in famous movies.

This is some Fox News 11.am expose designed to scare your grandparents-type shit, and we’re only at the tip of this nightmare iceberg. Which coincidentally, is the name of the movie I’m currently writing for the Syfy channel.

A moment for a fallen star

truly lmfao r.i.p. the jeremy renner app pic.twitter.com/VWFx201ZNb

— karen han (@karenyhan) September 4, 2019

I regret to inform everyone that Jeremy Renner’s fan interaction app has died following a horrific shark-jumping accident. I also regret to inform you that Hawkeye does not appear to know the meaning of the word “literally.” Gone 2 soon.

“I’m not even going to click that” Reddit headline of the week

I…how did you…

What do you think about this week in the world of terrible technology? Am I overreacting? No, right? Are you ready for IRL Terminator? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

• Oh no, Facebook’s official dating app is now live
• Instagram now lets you share Pandora music in your Stories – Here’s how
• How to opt-out of Facebook’s automatic facial recognition tagging
• Yup, there’s a lot more ads on Instagram and Facebook is behind it all

The post The Panic Room: Terminator is literally happening before our eyes appeared first on KnowTechie.

According to Bloomberg, the tech giant that’s currently recording you with its Alexas and illegally recording your kids with its Echo Dots is planning to roll out a home robot. But don’t worry, it definitely won’t be used to record your every step and thought. C’mon guys, be chill.

Amazon originally intended to reveal the robot, known internally as “Vesta,” as early as this year, but the machine isn’t ready to be mass-produced. While Amazon could choose never to release the robot, in recent months it has pulled engineers from other projects to work on it — a signal the company plans to sell Vesta at some point.

The robot will reportedly be waist high and capable of being summoned by voice. As in the voice that often summons your Alexas even when you don’t want it to.

You know the deal by now

Amazon home robot prototype is reportedly waist-high and can be summoned by voice #RiseoftheRobots@robotodd https://t.co/TuLNnr3o7a

— Martin Ford (@MFordFuture) July 12, 2019

I’ve said it once or twice around here, but let me try to break it down as a politician might:

Robots are bad for us. They’re taking over our homes. They’re taking over the highways. They’re learning how to fight back by literally taking your guns away. And now Amazon, a company that isn’t exactly known for caring about its customers (or employees) well-being wants to put one in every house on the block.

Robots: Bad for you, bad for your kids, bad for America.

What do you think? Interested in having a robot from Amazon in your home – always ready, always watching, always listening? Why tho? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

• Pablo Escobar’s brother might sue Elon Musk for ripping off his flamethrower idea
• Google’s Shoelace will probably get caught in the social media escalator
• One year later, the repeal of net neutrality is already f*cking us over
• Tweets that dehumanize religious groups will now be removed by Twitter

The post Amazon is making a home robot – Repeat, Amazon is making a home robot appeared first on KnowTechie.

But as it turns out, Musk may have lifted one of his most notorious inventions from the last person you’d expect.

I’m talking, of course, about his flamethrower

You know, the one he showed off on the Joe Rogan podcast? The one he cheekily named the Not a Flamethrower? Well, he apparently stole the idea from Pablo Escobar’s brother and this sentence is starting to feel like an improv exercise gone awry.

Apparently, some customs agencies are saying they won’t allow shipment of anything called a “Flamethrower”. To solve this, we are renaming it “Not a Flamethrower”.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 2, 2018

Speaking to Digital Trends, Roberto fucking Escobar – founder of Escobar Inc. and brother/former accountant of the most famous drug lord ever – claimed that the Musk ripped off his idea and then beat his own company’s flamethrower to market and seriously, Kevin, is this a joke article you assigned me?

“Then he changed the name to ‘Not a Flamethrower’ to avoid any type of deal we had,” said Escobar, presumably while twirling his mustache and/or stroking a white-haired cat.

Though he offered no proof to back his claims, Escobar is considering taking Musk to court for a whopping $100 million in cash or Tesla stock. Which is hilarious, especially because Musk only made 20,000 flamethrowers at $500 a pop.

“That 20% is now worth about $2 million,” Escobar said. “However due to his slander, and due to his non-payment, we are requesting $100 million.”

“I do not mind [becoming] the new CEO of Tesla if we win a judgment in the courts,” said Escobar. “I am sure that I could run Tesla into profits.”

For what it’s worth, Escobar’s flamethrower is currently on sale for half that price. Here’s a video of a woman in a bikini shooting it that was posted to Escobar Inc’s official Youtube page, so you know they mean business.

In other words…

https://twitter.com/JaredWritesStuf/status/1149745197946851328

What do you think? Did Musk lift his idea off of Roberto Escobar or is this as ridiculous as it seems? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

• Google’s Shoelace will probably get caught in the social media escalator
• Google is prepping a News tab redesign that looks to address the clutter
• One year later, the repeal of net neutrality is already f*cking us over
• Tweets that dehumanize religious groups will now be removed by Twitter

The post Pablo Escobar’s brother might sue Elon Musk for ripping off his flamethrower idea appeared first on KnowTechie.

But Kevin’s Twitter obsession has its downsides, of course. This morning would be a good example, when he sent me the following video:

https://twitter.com/ToxicTikToks/status/1149099577343193088

After waking from my cringe-induced coma, I discovered that this video was only one of the hundreds featured on the account Cursed Tik Toks.

Being a 30-year-old guy who thinks that social media is the plight of humanity, I have only a passing familiarity with TikTok. From what I’ve gathered, it’s like Vine, only sadder, and for lipsynching. But occasionally, it’s used to create the kind of rip-out-your-eyes-to-avoid-the-secondhand-embarrassment content seen above.

And since I’ve been forced to watch these, so will you

https://twitter.com/ToxicTikToks/status/1149500153843208198

https://twitter.com/ToxicTikToks/status/1149469868594327555

https://twitter.com/ToxicTikToks/status/1149327722730217474

https://twitter.com/ToxicTikToks/status/1149680350362296320

https://twitter.com/ToxicTikToks/status/1149410491539906563

https://twitter.com/ToxicTikToks/status/1149164431785545729

I know it’s been said before, but humanity needs a new plague.

Like, what the f*ck happened, guys. Vine was a magical place; a goldmine of comedic material that produced things like the “A knife!” kid and “CHICKEN STRIIIIPS!” guy. TikTok appears to be a place where mouth-breathing dudes and serial killers gather to try to act sexy. Is this a reflection of the downward spiral that social media has been on since its creation, or a result of it?

Anyways, give @ToxicTikToks a follow if you’re into self-harm I guess. I’m going to go lay down.

What do you think? Plan on giving this account a follow? Do you use TikTok? Let us know down below in the comments or carry the discussion over to our Twitter or Facebook.

Editors’ Recommendations:

• Google’s Shoelace will probably get caught in the social media escalator
• Google is prepping a News tab redesign that looks to address the clutter
• One year later, the repeal of net neutrality is already f*cking us over
• Tweets that dehumanize religious groups will now be removed by Twitter

The post Must-follow Twitter account of the week: Cursed TikToks appeared first on KnowTechie.